What is church for you? Many people (and many of my friends) leave this church and go to that church because of all kinds of reasons. The music isn't good enough. The Bible study wasn't challenging. The pastor is too monotone. They don't have this, and they don't have that. What they usually say is something like, "I wasn't getting anything out of it," or, "I wasn't growing there." Then it is followed up by a, "So I think God was telling me to move on." That is usually when I want to scream. You weren't "getting" anything out of it? You weren't "growing"? What do you expect to "get" out of church? What is your definition of growth?
I can tell you what you should "get" out of church: selflessness. I tell you what growth is: sanctification. The church was never about us. It has always been about God. 1 Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession," why? "...so that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." God has saved us so we can proclaim His goodness. We are testaments to His grace and kindness. The purpose of the church is to bring glory to our eternal, all-powerful, sovereign God. How do we do this? We live in the marvelous light He has called us to. We live in the revelation that our calling is to glorify God. We live a life of righteous love and grace, the same kind our Lord has shown to us through His life of service and death of service. All this requires is God's Word and the Holy Spirit.
Christians in America act like spoiled children. It makes me wonder who's children they are since I know God's children don't act that way.
And, no, your church services may not be exciting. And you may not like the music. It may be small and poor. But if it is proclaiming the true Gospel of our wonderful Savior, Jesus Christ, and you are complaining of no growth, then I am afraid that you are very immature in your understanding of sanctification. If you want to grow, realize that worship music is not about you. If you want to grow, learn to worship God through all music. If you want to grow, learn to worship God without music. If your church doesn't do enough of this or that ministry, ask yourself, "Who have I ministered to in this church?" Find a way to minister, and you will learn very quickly of your many imperfections that still need to be ironed out. When you persevere and see very little change or see great change, you will learn how very little you are and how very big God is.
Let us glorify God by living up to our calling to proclaim the praises of the One who has shown us truth. Let's not forget that our story is really God's story.
All glory to God!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Stuff.
Alright.
So, It's been a while. Whatever.
A lot has happened. I found out that I'm graduating this summer which is awesome. However, I had to take a painting class which has put a stop to me doing a painting a week for my own pleasure. Instead I'm doing a few paintings a week for class (which I will post pictures of next week).
I am also trying to put out my resume to add a full time job to my schedule so I can make money to pay rent and all that stuff. So, if you know ANYONE who is looking for a full-time employee, just let me know.
It's crazy that college is almost over for me.
So, It's been a while. Whatever.
A lot has happened. I found out that I'm graduating this summer which is awesome. However, I had to take a painting class which has put a stop to me doing a painting a week for my own pleasure. Instead I'm doing a few paintings a week for class (which I will post pictures of next week).
I am also trying to put out my resume to add a full time job to my schedule so I can make money to pay rent and all that stuff. So, if you know ANYONE who is looking for a full-time employee, just let me know.
It's crazy that college is almost over for me.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Yo.
Hello to all my many many MANY followers:
I haven't blogged in a long time. Mostly because I got busy with the end of the semester and such. But before I bore you with all of that stuff, I want to post something I wrote. I'm not sure if it's finished yet, but it is basically some thoughts that have been running through my head. Enjoy:
It's odd to me that there was a time before consciousness and existence. And there was a day I did not exist followed by a day I did exist. And there was a day when my physical body began to come together and my mind began to emerge. But I wasn't conscious; at least I wasn't completely conscious. Development is like waking up from a very long sleep with no recollection of what happened before the nap. We have the task of learning everything from nothing. Our parents tell us of our familial past while our teachers tell us of a larger past. It has all made me feel very connected. I think that is why I find it strange that until recently (1986), I did not exist. I don't feel like there was a definite day I started existing. I feel a little like I have always been here (I also seem to have to fight the assumption that I am always going to be here).
Not only do I feel connected to the past, but I also feel connected to present affairs, yet I have very little control over any of them. It's funny how I feel connected to the stories of different people on the news, yet I will never talk with them or know them.
I seem to have this feeling that there is something bigger outside of merely myself. In college, I was required to study the history and "progress" of Western civilization. We studied about the philosophies and religions that shaped our current Western world. We learned about all the key character and why they are or are not important or good. It was treated as having a plot with key characters, as if we are a part of some kind of story on a grand scale. A huge, more than epic journey. There is an idea that we are heading somewhere.
But I see a huge problem in this view. We don't seem to know our destination. If we don't know our destination, are we going anywhere? If we aren't going anywhere are we making progress? Does this make everything for which we've strived pointless? If so, then it doesn't matter what role I play. My role is pointless.
However, I believe our brains are too big and ask questions that demand answers that are too big for the universe to provide. It's a burden that everyone feels. Some may think on it more than others, but it is the burden of existence. We are thrust into existence with what seems to be no consent to only try to live long enough to finally, hopefully figure out what this is all about. Funny, every single one of us thinks we are going to be the one who figures it all out.
Why do we have questions that are too big for the huge universe to answer? It's all very odd to me. It's like something huge is missing. There is a massive piece of the puzzle missing which the scientific method does not have. Why should we rely on the scientific method for everything? I suppose someone could assume that it answers everything, but it seems too narrow for the human mind.
There has to be something huge that we are missing. Something to answer our questions. There must be something outside of our five senses.
Maybe what we have been searching for has been right in front of us forever, but we ignore it. Today, people seem to scoff at faith without realizing that believing all activity of anything can be taken in through our five senses is faith. That is faith in the belief that our five senses can tell us everything we need to know.
Maybe the scale of activity is bigger. Much bigger. Maybe saying it is much bigger is an understatement. Maybe calling it an understatement is an understatement.
It seems that what we have dubbed as open-mindedness is in fact close-mindedness. We've arrogantly and lazily narrowed our minds to our five senses as if there is nothing else humanity should care about knowing.
The picture has to be so much bigger! Science is a great and helpful part in the great plot, but it is not the plot. Philosophy, faith, hope, God. I'm alive. I'm very alive, and there is a reason.
I haven't blogged in a long time. Mostly because I got busy with the end of the semester and such. But before I bore you with all of that stuff, I want to post something I wrote. I'm not sure if it's finished yet, but it is basically some thoughts that have been running through my head. Enjoy:
It's odd to me that there was a time before consciousness and existence. And there was a day I did not exist followed by a day I did exist. And there was a day when my physical body began to come together and my mind began to emerge. But I wasn't conscious; at least I wasn't completely conscious. Development is like waking up from a very long sleep with no recollection of what happened before the nap. We have the task of learning everything from nothing. Our parents tell us of our familial past while our teachers tell us of a larger past. It has all made me feel very connected. I think that is why I find it strange that until recently (1986), I did not exist. I don't feel like there was a definite day I started existing. I feel a little like I have always been here (I also seem to have to fight the assumption that I am always going to be here).
Not only do I feel connected to the past, but I also feel connected to present affairs, yet I have very little control over any of them. It's funny how I feel connected to the stories of different people on the news, yet I will never talk with them or know them.
I seem to have this feeling that there is something bigger outside of merely myself. In college, I was required to study the history and "progress" of Western civilization. We studied about the philosophies and religions that shaped our current Western world. We learned about all the key character and why they are or are not important or good. It was treated as having a plot with key characters, as if we are a part of some kind of story on a grand scale. A huge, more than epic journey. There is an idea that we are heading somewhere.
But I see a huge problem in this view. We don't seem to know our destination. If we don't know our destination, are we going anywhere? If we aren't going anywhere are we making progress? Does this make everything for which we've strived pointless? If so, then it doesn't matter what role I play. My role is pointless.
However, I believe our brains are too big and ask questions that demand answers that are too big for the universe to provide. It's a burden that everyone feels. Some may think on it more than others, but it is the burden of existence. We are thrust into existence with what seems to be no consent to only try to live long enough to finally, hopefully figure out what this is all about. Funny, every single one of us thinks we are going to be the one who figures it all out.
Why do we have questions that are too big for the huge universe to answer? It's all very odd to me. It's like something huge is missing. There is a massive piece of the puzzle missing which the scientific method does not have. Why should we rely on the scientific method for everything? I suppose someone could assume that it answers everything, but it seems too narrow for the human mind.
There has to be something huge that we are missing. Something to answer our questions. There must be something outside of our five senses.
Maybe what we have been searching for has been right in front of us forever, but we ignore it. Today, people seem to scoff at faith without realizing that believing all activity of anything can be taken in through our five senses is faith. That is faith in the belief that our five senses can tell us everything we need to know.
Maybe the scale of activity is bigger. Much bigger. Maybe saying it is much bigger is an understatement. Maybe calling it an understatement is an understatement.
It seems that what we have dubbed as open-mindedness is in fact close-mindedness. We've arrogantly and lazily narrowed our minds to our five senses as if there is nothing else humanity should care about knowing.
The picture has to be so much bigger! Science is a great and helpful part in the great plot, but it is not the plot. Philosophy, faith, hope, God. I'm alive. I'm very alive, and there is a reason.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Regular Painting
I've recently been looking at blogs and websites of artists doing (or at least attempting) a painting a day. I think this would definitely be possible if I made my living through painting, but I don't. Instead, what I've decided to try to do is a painting a week. Though the paintings are very small, it's too big of a commitment to paint every day. I can take Fridays or Saturdays to go outside and paint something. I think my subject will be landscapes since i've done very little "plein air" painting. It's an area I could improve on. Here is some of my past artwork (sorry about the poor lighting quality):
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tonight, my roommate and I were talking about some of our favorite children's books when we were little. The conversation started because of a new movie is coming out called "Where the Wild Things Are" based on a children's book.
So, I decided I would show some of my favorites from when I was little.
The Baby Beebee Bird This was a story about a bird who was nocturnal and would keep all the animals up at night. One day, all the animals kept him awake all day. Then they all slept happily through the night. I would make sure my mom read every single "beebeebobbibobbi". This is the only picture I could find online of the original version. Since then, Steven Kellog has been the illustrator for the new version. He is actually the illustrator for the next book.
I had two of these "Jimmy's Boa" books. The first one I got was one about Jimmy's boa eating the wash. These stories are really funny because the narrator for them is always a child telling a story about Jimmy's boa. The stories are always told backwards, so the parent being told the story is always surprised and asks questions. At the end, it finally all makes sense.
The next book is called "Arthur's Tooth". I believe Arthur was an aardvark. Anyway, this was about Arthur loosing his first tooth.
And last, but not least (I kid you not), this was my potty training book:
Apparently there is an animated version of it HERE
So, I decided I would show some of my favorites from when I was little.
The Baby Beebee Bird This was a story about a bird who was nocturnal and would keep all the animals up at night. One day, all the animals kept him awake all day. Then they all slept happily through the night. I would make sure my mom read every single "beebeebobbibobbi". This is the only picture I could find online of the original version. Since then, Steven Kellog has been the illustrator for the new version. He is actually the illustrator for the next book.
I had two of these "Jimmy's Boa" books. The first one I got was one about Jimmy's boa eating the wash. These stories are really funny because the narrator for them is always a child telling a story about Jimmy's boa. The stories are always told backwards, so the parent being told the story is always surprised and asks questions. At the end, it finally all makes sense.
The next book is called "Arthur's Tooth". I believe Arthur was an aardvark. Anyway, this was about Arthur loosing his first tooth.
And last, but not least (I kid you not), this was my potty training book:
Apparently there is an animated version of it HERE
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I'm Not a Good American.
I have decided that I wasn't meant to be born in American culture. It's all fast paced, demanding and busy. Much of it doesn't make any sense to me. Here are a few things:
Working:
1) Work really really hard to "get ahead" so one day you won't have to work as hard (when you are dead).
2) Work really really hard so you can make more and more money to buy lots and lots of stuff to fill those extra closets in that bigger new house you bought because your giant SUV made your other house look too small.
3) Work 60 hours a week because if you don't, you must be lazy.
*If you are unsure if you are working hard enough, check and see if you are on your way to having a heart attack by the time your are in your 40's. If not, then you need to kick it up a notch.
Relationships:
1)Try to have as few friendships as possible!! ***This is CRUCIAL!!*** They take valuable time you could use to work to make money and buy stuff for yourself and your estranged children and spouse.
2) It's ok to romance your spouse in your twenties when you are lazy, young and stupid; but you need to grow up and realized that all you need is material things.
3) If your relationships are getting in the way of money, then it's time to call it quits because they may offer support that is detrimental to your stress-induced heart attack.
I think I don't fit into this because I've never cared about money. Since I don't fit into living this way, I've created my own ways to achieve the ideal life:
Working:
1) Don't work to "get ahead". There really is no such thing. Work to make the money you need.
2) Don't have too much money. Seriously, it would be stressful to manage all of that and figure out what to do with it.
3) Work so you can make the money you need, but spend time enjoying things like the sunrise or sunset. Or simply sitting and looking at the ocean. Or reading, or journalling, or creating, or recreating.
4) Take time to travel every once in a while and get to know other people in other cultures.
5) Have a slow start to the morning. Drink some coffee. Eat some breakfast. Watch the sunrise.
Relationships:
1) Spend some quality time with a good friend AT LEAST every other day (preferably over a cup of coffee). And I mean real quality time.
2) Lean on others, and allow them to lean on me.
3) Spend time with people you are close to over making money. Because really, what's they point in making money?
Really, why are we going SO fast? What is the reasoning behind it? I just want to take life slow and enjoy the people and the scenery, and the community. I just want to take it all in, reflect on it, paint it, and feel it.
Working:
1) Work really really hard to "get ahead" so one day you won't have to work as hard (when you are dead).
2) Work really really hard so you can make more and more money to buy lots and lots of stuff to fill those extra closets in that bigger new house you bought because your giant SUV made your other house look too small.
3) Work 60 hours a week because if you don't, you must be lazy.
*If you are unsure if you are working hard enough, check and see if you are on your way to having a heart attack by the time your are in your 40's. If not, then you need to kick it up a notch.
Relationships:
1)Try to have as few friendships as possible!! ***This is CRUCIAL!!*** They take valuable time you could use to work to make money and buy stuff for yourself and your estranged children and spouse.
2) It's ok to romance your spouse in your twenties when you are lazy, young and stupid; but you need to grow up and realized that all you need is material things.
3) If your relationships are getting in the way of money, then it's time to call it quits because they may offer support that is detrimental to your stress-induced heart attack.
I think I don't fit into this because I've never cared about money. Since I don't fit into living this way, I've created my own ways to achieve the ideal life:
Working:
1) Don't work to "get ahead". There really is no such thing. Work to make the money you need.
2) Don't have too much money. Seriously, it would be stressful to manage all of that and figure out what to do with it.
3) Work so you can make the money you need, but spend time enjoying things like the sunrise or sunset. Or simply sitting and looking at the ocean. Or reading, or journalling, or creating, or recreating.
4) Take time to travel every once in a while and get to know other people in other cultures.
5) Have a slow start to the morning. Drink some coffee. Eat some breakfast. Watch the sunrise.
Relationships:
1) Spend some quality time with a good friend AT LEAST every other day (preferably over a cup of coffee). And I mean real quality time.
2) Lean on others, and allow them to lean on me.
3) Spend time with people you are close to over making money. Because really, what's they point in making money?
Really, why are we going SO fast? What is the reasoning behind it? I just want to take life slow and enjoy the people and the scenery, and the community. I just want to take it all in, reflect on it, paint it, and feel it.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Psalm 73
Psalm 73:12-14
12 Behold, these are the wicked;
And always at ease, they have increased in wealth.
13 Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
And washed my hands in innocence;
14 For I have been stricken all day long
And chastened every morning.
Sometimes, when I am left alone to think, I start to think about how easy life would be if I were not a Christian. Life would be easier if I could follow every desire of my heart. I could follow the mold of society and have few people challenge my views; and if they did, they were the fringe extremists and the intolerant, close-minded bigots. If I believed there were no consequences to my actions and i didn't have to think about the reality of death, life would be a breeze.
Then I think, "Well, I wouldn't have to lose my faith." They idea of abandoning or compromising some parts of my faith for the sake of increased ease can be an extremely attractive thought. There is a constant tension as my heart is tugged in two different directions. Sometimes I think that maybe the "faith vs my desires" dichotomy is false. Maybe the dichotomy doesn't have to exist. Maybe I could reshape my beliefs so faith and all my desires could coexist in peace. I could still choose to die to self and love others as Christ has told me to, and I could still trust that He died for me on the cross. Maybe some of the things, such as inner purity aren't that important. Maybe what I have learned as being impure is actually pure. Maybe some of my desires aren't really impure and are actually from God.
Then I realize the dichotomy is very real. It's inescapable. I could either allow my own desires to determine the direction of my faith. Or, my faith will determine where my desires will go. If I compromise and allow my desires to determine the direction of my faith, I will cease to live a life of faith. Our desires cannot define our faith. If our desires define our faith, we can no longer call it "faith". Our desires must be seen through the lens of our faith not faith through the lens of our desires.
If we viewed faith through the lens of our desires, our faith would cease to exist as real faith, and our fluid, unstable desires would become our only "foundations" of our "faith". Our "faith" would then be in the hands of this world's ideas of life which only leads (if given any serious thought) to nihilism, hopelessness and despair. Our "faith" would then be rooted in the underlying fear that we are missing out, the fear that this is all there is so we should "live it up!" while we are here. All the while, we would be professing the name of Jesus Christ saying, "He is our salvation!" as well as the foundation of our faith when in actuality, it is rooted in fear and self-satisfaction. Fear that this is all there is is not faith.
The tension I feel and the battle I face is only more evidence for me to see that what I believe is true. The tension is an odd comfort to me knowing that it brands me as a child of the Most High God who is battling for the sanctification of my soul and the affections of my heart. I have complete faith that the God who spoke the universe into existence has the strength and power to turn my unstoppable passions and desires from myself to Him. I will place my faith in the everlasting, unchangeable God who has graciously granted me salvation and promised to never let anyone snatch me from His hand. My faith is in the God of Truth: the God who has never broken a promise and promised to finish the work He started in me.
And in case you were wondering, this is the rest of Psalm 73, and I think it's awesome:
15If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
Behold, I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.
16When I pondered to understand this,
It was troublesome in my sight
17Until I came into the sanctuary of God;
Then I perceived their end.
18Surely You set them in slippery places;
You cast them down to destruction.
19How they are destroyed in a moment!
They are utterly swept away by sudden terrors!
20Like a dream when one awakes,
O Lord, when aroused, You will despise their form.
21When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced within,
22Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
23Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
24With Your counsel You will guide me,
And afterward receive me to glory.
25Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
26My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
27For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who (AS)are unfaithful to You.
28But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.
12 Behold, these are the wicked;
And always at ease, they have increased in wealth.
13 Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
And washed my hands in innocence;
14 For I have been stricken all day long
And chastened every morning.
Sometimes, when I am left alone to think, I start to think about how easy life would be if I were not a Christian. Life would be easier if I could follow every desire of my heart. I could follow the mold of society and have few people challenge my views; and if they did, they were the fringe extremists and the intolerant, close-minded bigots. If I believed there were no consequences to my actions and i didn't have to think about the reality of death, life would be a breeze.
Then I think, "Well, I wouldn't have to lose my faith." They idea of abandoning or compromising some parts of my faith for the sake of increased ease can be an extremely attractive thought. There is a constant tension as my heart is tugged in two different directions. Sometimes I think that maybe the "faith vs my desires" dichotomy is false. Maybe the dichotomy doesn't have to exist. Maybe I could reshape my beliefs so faith and all my desires could coexist in peace. I could still choose to die to self and love others as Christ has told me to, and I could still trust that He died for me on the cross. Maybe some of the things, such as inner purity aren't that important. Maybe what I have learned as being impure is actually pure. Maybe some of my desires aren't really impure and are actually from God.
Then I realize the dichotomy is very real. It's inescapable. I could either allow my own desires to determine the direction of my faith. Or, my faith will determine where my desires will go. If I compromise and allow my desires to determine the direction of my faith, I will cease to live a life of faith. Our desires cannot define our faith. If our desires define our faith, we can no longer call it "faith". Our desires must be seen through the lens of our faith not faith through the lens of our desires.
If we viewed faith through the lens of our desires, our faith would cease to exist as real faith, and our fluid, unstable desires would become our only "foundations" of our "faith". Our "faith" would then be in the hands of this world's ideas of life which only leads (if given any serious thought) to nihilism, hopelessness and despair. Our "faith" would then be rooted in the underlying fear that we are missing out, the fear that this is all there is so we should "live it up!" while we are here. All the while, we would be professing the name of Jesus Christ saying, "He is our salvation!" as well as the foundation of our faith when in actuality, it is rooted in fear and self-satisfaction. Fear that this is all there is is not faith.
The tension I feel and the battle I face is only more evidence for me to see that what I believe is true. The tension is an odd comfort to me knowing that it brands me as a child of the Most High God who is battling for the sanctification of my soul and the affections of my heart. I have complete faith that the God who spoke the universe into existence has the strength and power to turn my unstoppable passions and desires from myself to Him. I will place my faith in the everlasting, unchangeable God who has graciously granted me salvation and promised to never let anyone snatch me from His hand. My faith is in the God of Truth: the God who has never broken a promise and promised to finish the work He started in me.
And in case you were wondering, this is the rest of Psalm 73, and I think it's awesome:
15If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
Behold, I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.
16When I pondered to understand this,
It was troublesome in my sight
17Until I came into the sanctuary of God;
Then I perceived their end.
18Surely You set them in slippery places;
You cast them down to destruction.
19How they are destroyed in a moment!
They are utterly swept away by sudden terrors!
20Like a dream when one awakes,
O Lord, when aroused, You will despise their form.
21When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced within,
22Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
23Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
24With Your counsel You will guide me,
And afterward receive me to glory.
25Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
26My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
27For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who (AS)are unfaithful to You.
28But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.
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