Hello to all my many many MANY followers:
I haven't blogged in a long time. Mostly because I got busy with the end of the semester and such. But before I bore you with all of that stuff, I want to post something I wrote. I'm not sure if it's finished yet, but it is basically some thoughts that have been running through my head. Enjoy:
It's odd to me that there was a time before consciousness and existence. And there was a day I did not exist followed by a day I did exist. And there was a day when my physical body began to come together and my mind began to emerge. But I wasn't conscious; at least I wasn't completely conscious. Development is like waking up from a very long sleep with no recollection of what happened before the nap. We have the task of learning everything from nothing. Our parents tell us of our familial past while our teachers tell us of a larger past. It has all made me feel very connected. I think that is why I find it strange that until recently (1986), I did not exist. I don't feel like there was a definite day I started existing. I feel a little like I have always been here (I also seem to have to fight the assumption that I am always going to be here).
Not only do I feel connected to the past, but I also feel connected to present affairs, yet I have very little control over any of them. It's funny how I feel connected to the stories of different people on the news, yet I will never talk with them or know them.
I seem to have this feeling that there is something bigger outside of merely myself. In college, I was required to study the history and "progress" of Western civilization. We studied about the philosophies and religions that shaped our current Western world. We learned about all the key character and why they are or are not important or good. It was treated as having a plot with key characters, as if we are a part of some kind of story on a grand scale. A huge, more than epic journey. There is an idea that we are heading somewhere.
But I see a huge problem in this view. We don't seem to know our destination. If we don't know our destination, are we going anywhere? If we aren't going anywhere are we making progress? Does this make everything for which we've strived pointless? If so, then it doesn't matter what role I play. My role is pointless.
However, I believe our brains are too big and ask questions that demand answers that are too big for the universe to provide. It's a burden that everyone feels. Some may think on it more than others, but it is the burden of existence. We are thrust into existence with what seems to be no consent to only try to live long enough to finally, hopefully figure out what this is all about. Funny, every single one of us thinks we are going to be the one who figures it all out.
Why do we have questions that are too big for the huge universe to answer? It's all very odd to me. It's like something huge is missing. There is a massive piece of the puzzle missing which the scientific method does not have. Why should we rely on the scientific method for everything? I suppose someone could assume that it answers everything, but it seems too narrow for the human mind.
There has to be something huge that we are missing. Something to answer our questions. There must be something outside of our five senses.
Maybe what we have been searching for has been right in front of us forever, but we ignore it. Today, people seem to scoff at faith without realizing that believing all activity of anything can be taken in through our five senses is faith. That is faith in the belief that our five senses can tell us everything we need to know.
Maybe the scale of activity is bigger. Much bigger. Maybe saying it is much bigger is an understatement. Maybe calling it an understatement is an understatement.
It seems that what we have dubbed as open-mindedness is in fact close-mindedness. We've arrogantly and lazily narrowed our minds to our five senses as if there is nothing else humanity should care about knowing.
The picture has to be so much bigger! Science is a great and helpful part in the great plot, but it is not the plot. Philosophy, faith, hope, God. I'm alive. I'm very alive, and there is a reason.
